Stedman featured in ‘VOICES-19: Their Legacies Live On’

By Chris Spangler

A Fort Atkinson man is among 19 contributors to a book remembering loved ones lost to the coronavirus.

Author of a chapter in “VOICES-19: Their Legacies Live On” is David Stedman, whose wife of 36 years, Cheryl, died from COVID-19 on Dec. 23, 2020, just two days before Christmas.

“Cheryl packed as much as possible into her 59 years on Earth,” David begins his chapter. “Her zest for adventure, along with her desire to help and serve others, was clear to all. She created memories for all who knew her. The life she lived had purpose and not a single moment was wasted.”

Cheryl’s story

David and Cheryl met while attending the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point and they were married in 1984. Retiring in 2020 after working 31 years at Highsmith Company/Demco, Cheryl was very active in her church, community theater and Lions International.

She was diagnosed in 1989 with Lupus, which led to kidney disease. Cheryl underwent a successful kidney transplant in 2016.

“What others might consider fearful challenges, Cheryl always met head-on and never backed down,” David wrote in the book. “With her ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ attitude, she never feared telling anyone what she thought or how she thought things should be done. If Cheryl came up against a challenging situation, she worked through it. If it meant altering the course of her life or changing a specific task at hand, it became the ‘new normal’ for Cheryl.”

There were many “new normals” for the Stedmans as Cheryl faced lupus, Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome, kidney disease, dialysis, gastric sleeve surgery to prepare for her kidney transplant and then the transplant itself.

“I know others who have confronted many challenges in their lives, but Cheryl always showed incredible tenacity and courage,” David wrote. 

The ultimate challenge, however, was COVID-19. Cheryl, as a transplant recipient with a suppressed immune system, and David did all they could to protect themselves from the coronavirus. Sadly, it found its way to Cheryl.

Prior to his retirement, David had been working in healthcare at Whitewater’s Fairhaven Senior Services and, during the pandemic, he was being tested for COVID-19 twice a week. However, on Nov. 22, 2020, he was notified that the test he took on Nov. 20 came back positive … just three days after a negative result from his previous test.

Cheryl started having symptoms the day before Thanksgiving. Two days later, she tested positive for the virus.

“The two of us had a quiet Thanksgiving at home instead of spending the day with family, which we normally did,” David wrote. “Never did I imagine this would be the last holiday I would ever spend with my dear wife.”

She had beaten lupus and kidney disease, but the pneumonia that developed in her lungs due to the coronavirus was too much for her.

Cheryl’s voice remembered

“VOICES-19” was released Tuesday, April 26, by BC Books LLC. It features stories like Cheryl’s collected by Brenda E. Cortez of Franklin, whom David met through his volunteer efforts promoting organ donation.

“A friend of mine, Dawn Lyons-Wood, lost her daughter, Emily, in a snowmobile accident about eight years ago,” David said. “Her daughter was an organ donor too, and she saved a lot of people’s lives with tissue donation, as well.”

David was the UW Health Organ and Tissue Donation representative when the Beaver Dam family held its first golf outing to raise money in memory of Emily. 

“It was through that event that I kind of built up a relationship with Dawn,” he said. “We ended up working the Dodge County Fair for UW Health for donor tissue awareness. We became good friends.”

Last year, David was a speaker when the Jefferson County Health Department hosted “Commemorating a Small Town’s Resiliency in a Pandemic” at Jefferson County Fair Park.

“Not long after that, I was contacted by Brenda through Dawn about this project, “Voices 19: Their Legacies Live On.” I was asked to do a chapter.

“Of course, I’m no real writer, but I have created eulogies,” he added. 

And he had penned his moving remarks for the Health Department event.

So David wrote down his thoughts and then turned to a friend and former Fort Atkinson High School classmate, Karen Camplin Douglas.

“She had helped write Cheryl’s obituary so it didn’t sound like a resume and sounded more like her life,” David said of Karen, who graduated a year ahead of him in 1978. “I talked to her because I wanted her assistance to put the chapter together.”

David wrote the initial copy, and then Karen helped organize it. 

“After we did the first draft, Brenda sent it back and asked more specific questions — for instance, a specific theater or travel memory,” he recalled. “Then I got into more specifics before the second draft had to be submitted.”

He initially had been contacted about contributing to the book in June 2021, with the first draft due two to three months later. The second draft’s deadline was January 2022, and the book was released April 26.

Collaborating with Cortez has been Jean Sime of New Jersey, one of the authors, who lost her sister, Vivian, to COVID-19. Jean has been organizing Facebook page Voices -19, as well as one for authors only to share information.

Life well lived

The 15-page chapter remembering Cheryl Stedman shares memories of a life well lived.

“In every photograph, you couldn’t help but see her infectious smile,” David said. “It was very easy for her to be outgoing and be in the public eye and meet people. It wasn’t hard for her to meet friends — or strangers, for that matter — and strike up a conversation.”

Not surprising, then, was Cheryl’s love of theater, both on stage and in the audience. 

David wrote that “when the houselights went down and the stage lights came up, Cheryl shined her brightest, no matter how small or large her role.”

David also shared that in all that she did, not just in theater, his late wife gave it her all.

“She was the type of person who carried a project through to completion. If someone dropped the ball on a task, Cheryl picked up the load to make sure the project was completed, even when it would mean more work for her,” he wrote.

But she did have “rules,” he pointed out. 

“She even reminded me of my responsibilities while she was battling COVID-19 at UW Health University Hospital in Madison, Wis.: plants needed watering on certain days, bills had to be paid on time and appointments canceled or rescheduled in a timely manner,” David wrote. 

“Throughout our marriage, we had the occasional disagreement; however, common ground was always found, even if I had to bend a bit more to Cheryl’s way of thinking.”

The chapter also reports the Stedmans’ love of travel, and Cheryl’s goal to visit every national park, monument and recreation area. Her parks “passport” included stamps to more than 182 sites, eight during a trip to the West Coast in 2019. 

And David also wrote about Cheryl’s love of sports, watching UW-Madison Badgers, Green Bay Packers and Milwaukee Brewers games, especially the latter.

“No Brewers game was complete without us joining in on the singing of ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ during the seventh-inning stretch. “Each rendition immediately made it into Cheryl’s Facebook page for all of our friends to enjoy so they could feel as though they had been at the game with us,” David penned.

He also noted her great love of service and volunteering, giving of her time and talents to First Congregational United Church of Christ, the Fort Atkinson Food Pantry, Jefferson County Council for the Performing Arts, Fort Atkinson Community Theatre and Lions International.

“She was only a Lion for five years, but in that time, she became the first female president of the Jefferson Lions Club, she got her bachelor’s and master’s degrees from Lions University, attended USA-Canada forums and was at international conventions in Hawaii and Chicago,” David said.

He explained that during the pandemic, he and Cheryl “attended” virtual Lions cocktail parties, which drew members worldwide. Among the Lions Cheryl met there was First Vice District Governor Daniel Martin Elkins of Delaware. 

And even though he never had met the Stedmans face to face, Elkins donated $1,000 to the Lions International Foundation for a progressive Melvin Jones Fellowship for David and another $1,000 for a posthumous Melvin Jones Fellowship for Cheryl.

“To honor her memory, he did that for her,” David said. “That solely came from him for her.”

In addition, the Lions Eye Bank presented Cheryl with a posthumous Legacy of Sight Award for her volunteerism, and lowered its flag to half-staff upon her passing. 

In his chapter of “VOICES-19,” David also wrote about his late wife’s love of animals and, of course, family, both near and far.

“We did not have children of our own, but Cheryl fell in love with the Watoto Children’s Choir from Uganda when they performed at our church,” David wrote. “The love she felt led her to sponsor one of the children. She lovingly welcomed 9-year-old Rahmah Kabuye Nakayiza into our extended family.”

Nineteen on purpose

”VOICES-19” purposefully contains 19 chapters to make the connection to COVID-19. Most of the authors reside on the East Coast, but there is one from Los Angeles and another from the United Kingdom. 

“I am the only Wisconsin author,” David said. “The authors are daughters, siblings, parents and spouses. The concept of the book is that by telling our stories of our loved ones, their legacies live on.

“The whole idea was to make sure that their stories are being told and they’re not just a number among the statistics,” he added. 

The book includes photos of the loved ones claimed by COVID-19, as well as digital portraits created by Hannah Ernst, who also penned a chapter about her grandfather. Similar to emojis, the faceless images appear on a yellow heart, which has become the symbol of COVID-19.

A 17-year-old from New Jersey, Ernst has created 2,500 of these “Faces of COVID Victims.” And now 19 more appear in “VOICES-19.”

The book’s cover, meanwhile, features a photograph of a sunset on a beach taken by one of the authors, Fiana Paulette Garza. A yellow heart has been added in the sand. 

Life lessons learned

In “VOICES-19: Their Legacies Live On,” readers will laugh, cry, be inspired and learn many life lessons.

“In her 59 years, there certainly was never a dull or idle period,” David said of Cheryl’s life.

“If she wasn’t out in the community, she was doing gardening. Never an idle moment.”

He noted that when they entered their 50s, the Stedmans took on a “do it now” attitude, saying, “hey, we’re not going to wait.”

“And I still kind of live by that philosophy, because tomorrow is never a guarantee,” David said. “That’s why I’m retired now. I want to do things while I still can. Who knows when that day’s going to come when you can’t?

“Cheryl retired in August of 2020, and you can count on one hand the number of good weeks she had since that time,” he added.

“VOICES-19,” David emphasized, underscores that the coronavirus pandemic was and is real. It has caused 6.22 million deaths worldwide, including 950,000 in the United States. And it is not over.

“To anybody who believes that COVID was a hoax, read the book and read the stories that people are sharing of what they went through,” David advised. 

“One author lost her daughter by hours after they took her to the hospital. She was home and not feeling well, but by the time it got to the point that they took her to the hospital, it was a matter of hours and she passed,” he said.

“I was lucky I got to be with Cheryl at the end,” he continued. “But there are several authors in this book who had to say goodbye through Zoom …”

Being able to hold Cheryl’s hand when she died gave David some closure, whereas many others did not get that opportunity to be with their loved one. 

“Two years later, they’re still grieving because they didn’t get that closure,” David said. “And look at how many families didn’t even have a funeral.”

That makes the mission of this book even more important, he pointed out.

“These stories must get told because everybody’s life matters. They’re not a number. So many times you’re a statistic, but it’s important to know the story behind that number,” David said. “They’re your parents, your siblings, your spouses, your children, your neighbors. … It’s pretty hard not to find somebody that you know of who didn’t pass from COVID-19.”

David said that the storytelling must not stop with publication of “VOICES-19.”

“We really want to encourage everyone to help get our message across … If you are in a similar situation and you’ve lost a loved one to COVID, we want you to tell their stories or create a similar legacy or tribute, so they are not remembered as just a number. 

“That’s really why the book is important and the first one of its kind.”

To purchase a copy of “VOICES-19: Their Legacies Live On,” visit https://www.bcbooksllc.com/voices19.