Behind My Door: Oh Daddy!

By Sandra Bernhardt

On Father’s Day, a little boy decides to make his dad breakfast in bed.  He makes scrambled eggs, toast, and coffee.  He brings it into his dad, hands him the coffee and says, “Try it, dad.”

The dad takes a sip and nearly passes out because it is so strong.  The little boy asks, “”How do you like it, Dad?”  The dad doesn’t want to hurt his little boy’s feelings so he says, “This is . . . something else. I’ve never tasted coffee quite like this before, Son.”  The little boy smiles from ear to ear and says, “Drink some more, Pops.”

As the dad is drinking, he notices two army men in the bottom of the cup, and says, “Hey!  Why did you put army men in here?”

The little boy again smiles and sings, “The Best Part Of Waking Up, is SOLDIERS in your Cup!”

I love this story because it shows a caring, sensitive dad who set an example for his boy to follow. Prizes? A sense of Pride for the son; breakfast in bed for dad!

Father’s Day was founded by Sonora Smart Dodd, who wanted to honor her father, William Jackson Smart, a Civil War Veteran and single father to six children. Since the first time in 1910, Father’s Day has been celebrated on the third Sunday in June.

As we know, frequently dads must endure “pokes in the paunch” in regard to their ordained role in the family.  (The pokes generally come from childless fellows.) Loving fathers throw off that teasing, because they know their ordained role is a treasured gift.  Hats off to those dads!

By the way, I apologize for my cruel comment of “pokes in the paunch.” Many dads do teach their offspring to exercise faithfully and sweat profusely.

So, how do poor devils recover from mean comments like these:

Erma Bombeck: “If a [dad] watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”

Ray Romano:  “Having children is like living in a frat house.  Nobody sleeps, everything is broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.”

Jon Stewart:  “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”

And dads can be tricked: Lillian Hellman said, “Mama seemed to do only what my father wanted, and yet we lived the way my mother wanted us to live.”

I’m remembering the day when our car broke down due to an ailing battery.   Ironically, my husband, Ralph, had purchased a new one the day before and placed it in the trunk.  He planned to install it the very next day.

So, there we were—stranded. Finally, Ralph had the car running again, thanks to the shiny new battery he installed directly onto my lap.  I don’t recall exactly how he did that; but, I DO remember whining about his “creative solution.”  A lot.

As we cruised toward home, Ralph flashed a big smile in my direction and said, “You know, Honey, the course of true love never runs smoothly.”  Suddenly, my whining turned to laughter, and I found myself grateful that our sons have a dad who makes them giggle and I have a hubby who makes me laugh, even when I’m wearing a car battery!

Joanne Woodward agreed:  “Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat!” 

So, whether you are called a great Daddy, Father, Pop, Dada or Grandpa, kudos to you! I hope you get breakfast in bed.  HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

For more than 30 years, Fort Atkinson’s Sandra (Sandi) Bernhardt has enjoyed humorous public speaking in Wisconsin and beyond. During her career, she served as a human resources director, as well as a customer service consultant for a healthcare company. Active in the community, Sandy is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater and the mother of three grown sons.